Bridezillas: A reality show that hopefully isn’t reality

9 Aug
  • My first post as a blogger focused on the idea of being too nice in relationships and whether that outcome is detrimental to the long term success of the partnership.  I received much feedback from women and men on this subject, so today I would like to reverse the question if I may!  What are men willing to accept as mistreatment in a relationship?  Is it really true that treating a man badly makes them want you more?
Bridezilla

Bridezilla

I must admit that I have tuned in for two consecutive Sundays to a show on the We network entitled “Bridezillas”.  Now, I know what the women are thinking: weddings can turn even the most kind, sincere bride into a vicious and emotional basketcase.  However, what I have witnessed on this so called reality show cannot possibly be reality, otherwise I am living in a fantasy world.  Or can it be???

A common denominator for the brides is an extremely selfish position in life, assuming that everything is always about them.  Their loud, obnoxious behavior toward someone that will soon be their life-long partner is ludicrous!  I know some of the negativity is due to their spouse missing a tuxedo fitting appointment, or possibly the fact that the best man ordered a stripper to the bachelor party when he promised not to do so.  However, the issues seem to lie much deeper than the typical stress incurred when planning a wedding.  These women exert a power over their soon to be spouses, ordering them around as if they were misbehaved kids in juvenile hall!  And, ironically enough, the men respond as if that is a natural part of life.  They eventually stand up on the altar, in front of God and the world, pledging their vow to honor this person who treats them as if they are little more than an animal!

Now, being that I am guilty of being “too nice” in relationships, maybe my viewpoint is a bit jaded on this subject matter.  Nevertheless, I feel that this type of attitude gives women a bad wrap.  What happened to the equality in relationships?  What happened to treating others as you wish to be treated?

Back to the question at hand: what are men willing to accept from their girlfriends/wives?  Is it true that treating a man badly makes them want you more?  As a woman of 35 years, I have a historical database of relationships through which to search for answers to this question.  Any great revelations?  Well, not really.  My mistreatment of the male X/Y chromosome is limited to a couple of days, possibly a week.  I have tried desperately to mistreat someone I care about in hopes of turning their attention toward me, although I could only keep up the facade for a day or so since that isn’t truly my nature.  But, I will say that during those 48-72 hours I did see some results.  Instead of conversations being initiated by me the tables were turned… everything was initiated by him.  He seemed more anxious to talk, interact and just simply know what was going on in my life.

Since my personal experiences do not lend much to this discussion, I would love input from everyone, especially the men who read my blog.  Does it have something to do with the fact that men love a good chase?  Some women make it too easy, offering too much affection and accommodation.  What if you keep them guessing?  Mistreatment is a simple way for women to accomplish that goal.  If a man isn’t confident or sure of where he stands with a woman, it must assuredly be a blast to his ego and his psyche.  Another concept I have is the idea of men choosing a wife that is like their mother.  Men are needy by nature, so doesn’t it make sense that they would choose someone with similar characteristics to their mother?  And in essence, isn’t one of a mothers’ most important roles to keep her children in line?  To keep them obedient?

Hopefully I didn’t strike a nerve with my male readers tonight.  Remember, I am on the “too nice” end of the spectrum!

PS  Another irony… the bridezillas are never that attractive in addition to the bad attitude… so what’s to like anyway?  LOL

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2 Responses to “Bridezillas: A reality show that hopefully isn’t reality”

  1. Nazanine August 10, 2009 at 12:27 pm #

    I think they should do a follow up show with the bridezilla ladies and see how many of them are DIVORCED! I think it’s unacceptable to behave in a manner which demeans your friends regardless of any situation. The show should be labeled BRIDE OF CHUCKY! Hahaha Anyway, it regards to being too nice or not.. I am sure you have heard this before but just be yourself. Everybody is different and what works for me may or may not work for you and vice versa. You are unique Carissa in the sense that you always look at the cup half full. You are kind by nature and if you act any other way it would be fake. My only comment is don’t every make ANYONE the focus of your life. When you make it all about the other person you will lose yourself and who you are…. which then you start to second guess everything you do and say. Live your life and ENJOY every moment you have.

  2. Shannon August 17, 2009 at 12:52 pm #

    Honestly, I think it depends on the guy, his temperament and his relationship with his mother. When men grow up with dominant or abusive women in parental roles they tend to choose mates with the same traits.
    Generally speaking, men like to give chase and will go after women who play “hard to get”. Sad, but true. But then we all do that don’t we?
    But regardless of whether you’re the guy or girl in the relationship there are no excuses, impending wedding or not, to impugn, insult, yell or be rude to your mate. That’s ridiculous. When I see that poor schmuck Jon in the Hamptons with a 22 year old it’s pathetic but I can’t help but feel better for him getting away from that harpy he’s married to. Sometimes the old cliches are true, pretty is as pretty does.

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